I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer

Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to catch me -- Good job!

I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead

Bad cop! No doughnut!

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence

Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "Cops"?

Is it true that guys become cops because they can't work at McDonald's?

I pay your salary!

So... uh... you on the take, or what?

Thanks Officer, that last cop only gave me a warning, too

Do you know why you pulled me over? OK, just so one of us does

What do you mean, "Have I been drinking ?" You're the trained specialist

My gun fell off my lap and got lodged on the gas pedal

Hey, is that a 9mm ? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

Hey, I get one of them full body cavity searches?

Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in?

You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me

Yes, I know the light was red, but nothing was coming

In California we drive like that all the time, what's the problem?

If you'd try the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so damn uptight

Aren't there real crooks somewhere you should be catching?

Well, those two other guys didn't stop for that school bus either

Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought you going to get a doughnut

Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you?

I saw the ambulance, but I was going faster than him anyway

Do you have any idea who you're talking to?

Wanna race to Doughnut Land, Sparky?